EBOOK DOWNLOAD (Dancing on My Grave) ☆ Gelsey Kirkland

Chicken, Chicken, Duck! jUgs It saddens me when readers rate a memoir based on their perceptions of an author s choices and strugglesDancing on My Grave chronicles Kirkland sourney to prima ballerina status while battling multiple addictions and bulimia As you muddle through some of the cringe worthy details of her relationship with Mikhail Baryishnikov you ll probably find some of the passages in the book difficult to digestStill Kirkland is brave and achingly honest in this memoir I applaud Kirkland for her eyes wide open portrayal of the expectations and demands placed on professional dancers If you ve ever seen Kirkland dance live or On You Already Know That She S Talented Strong film you already know that she s talented strong extremely gifted Just once I would love to see Kirkland s memoir rated for the searing candid account that it is instead of read reviewers commentary on the mistakes she made along the way I had to stop reading this book It was too painful The author iswas a famous ballerina who was emotionally and arguably physically abused by George Balanchine the founder of her ballet company and American ballet as we know it actually I thought it would be fun to read about her stories of being a ballerina Boy was I wrong I had to stop because it was cau I really lost patience with this book It was at least 100 pages too long and seemed to be written too soon before any of the wounds had healed She wrote with a chip on her shoulder which failed to evoke any pity of the wounds had healed She wrote with a chip on her shoulder which failed to evoke any pity me and I came away without a solid understanding of why she put herself through all of that in order to dance Did she love it If you watch videos of her dancing it s incredible but all you see in this book is the pain and the hurt feelings and a lot of poor me Plus are we really supposed to believe that she uit drugs cold turkey all on her own This book is gossipy and melodramatic and largely ugly everything that Suzanne Farrell s book is not Read hers or Toni Bentley s instead they show that it s possible to write about the world of ballet which is admittedly a tough world to live in graciously and elegantly This book has neither of those ualities Gelsey Kirkland s dancing 5 stars Gelsey Kirkland s memoir of dancing meh Some here indicate this is reuired reading for any aspiring ballet dancer and I ll grant you that it will give you an eye opening look at the dark side of th One of the greatest bad ass ballerinas of all time Gelsey Kirkland s book is a wild testament to self mutilation in pursuit of ballet feet a sort of binding for art s sake to ballet body aka anorexia and cocaine snuffling and other forms of rollercoaster recreationHer romance with Mikhail Baryshnikov gets a bit overwrought in places but for the most part whether you like ballet or not I guarantee you ll bury your nose in this one for months to come Update Lord I d forgotten how difficult it is to read this book Gelsey s pain is palpable What is perhaps even distressing is reading the response here on goodreads Gelsey never intended to promote anorexia drug addiction or promiscuity She doesn t deserve such contempt from readers My own reservations aside it was brave of her to write so candidly about addiction and mental illness and of the very real abuses visited upon her It s clear to me that she earnestly wishes to improve herself and the culture that exploited her I respect her for thatShe s also the greatest ballerina of all time ReviewIt s about the dark side of ballet I can appreciate thatSadly and despite Kirkland s best efforts it s one of those cautionary tales that amounts to thinspiration. Dary partnership with Mikhail Baryshnikov her agonizing descent into drugs and her struggles to rise agai. With up and coming dancers finding way of healthfully nurturing and being nurtured Wikipedia says she s doing well I think might have liked this book IF 1 I knew who Gelsey Kirland was Apparently she was a very famous ballerina and even danced with Baryshnikof yes I totally made up how to spell that But she was PRETTY FAMOUS A FEW YEARS BEFORE I WAS BORNSO famous a few years before I was bornso missed out 2 my thighs were not flabby and did not touch each other when I stand normally My dream is to have those strong muscular ballet thighs Or if I could have the really thin kind that have a space between them Man my Inspirations jeans would wear out WAY less often if there was space instead of rubbing when I walked Anyways I was under the impression that this book was about the lurid life filled with anorexia and cocaine Not that I particularly support either of those things but they sure would have made for an interesting book Instead the book briefly mentioned those two interesting things and decided to focus instead on boring stuff like contract disputes and whining by the author There were a couple days that she didn t eat I think that was the anorexia part And about 20 pages from the end she got hooked on coke Even then not so excitingOk so it got me to thinking about how my life could have spiraled out of control and end with me on cocaine But by some smart self defeating actions I saved myself It all began with the 4th grade spelling beeI am a good speller I don t always type the write spelling hahaha but I KNOW what the right spelling is I beat out all the 5th graders in our school spelling bee except one All I had to do was out spell one kid and I was going to the county bee But I knew that meant that I would have to GO somewhere ie notust do it during school while I was already there My mom was always really weird about me participating in things She was always VERY busy I never did figure that out because she only had two kids that she never allowed to do anything or go anywhere or take any lessons or do any sports and she didn t have a ob I have no idea what that lady did all day I always had to do the dishes vacuum take out the garbage and fold the laundry including my parent s underwear super upsetting Anyways so I purposely misspelled a word so that I would NOT win and therefore have to explain to my mom that I had won and needed a ride to the next level of competitionAlso I could not help but worry about WHAT IF I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM DURING THE SPELLING BEE That was a terrible worry of mine for many years Not specifically needing to pee during spelling bees but needing to go in a public restroom You are probably thinking I am a germophone No It was because I watched an episode of Magnum PI where TC s child got kidnapped when he went to the bathroom The mother had let the child go by himself and the bad guys smuggled him out the bathroom window Luckily TC was good buddies with Mangum PI so the kid was recovered by the end of the show But my parents did not know ANY private investigators So who was going to find me if I got kidnapped from the bathroomI m pretty sure that episode really affected my mom got kidnapped from the bathroomI m pretty sure that episode really affected my mom because she would not even let me go to the bathroom alone But instead of graciously accompanying me she would get really upset and act like it was a HUGE inconvience Knowing that it was a big deal made me ust have to go even It was an exhausting couple of years Anyway the point is that I purposely lost the spelling bee and therefore saved myself from a life of fame that would have surely spiralled into anorexia and dr. Allerinas Gelsey Kirkland who chronicles her brilliant start as a dancer with George Balanchine her legen. Bleah Why did I want to read this book I read it years ago when I was interested in Barishnikov s defection from Russia and also when I was following the careers of ballerinas he danced with Why I was struck to read it again is beyond meThis is a pitiful story Gelsey Kirkland was a gifted dancer but from the beginning lost and insecure The daughter of an older alcoholic father he had 5 marriages and 5 heart attacks she spends the rest of the book seeking for someone to love her She is immature foolish and destructive at an age when most people have grown up She falls into eating disorders then cocaine drug use Her rage at the doctors who treat her in the mental institution is terrible to seeAnd the end She does grow up some and see her own responsibility for the mess she has become and she tries to make amends with many of those who had helped her and she hurt or used them But in doing additional reading I find That The Husband She Had the husband she had at the end of this book is no longer her husbandI give her credit for the honest and open view she gives into the world of ballet I give her credit also for writing about the things that she has done which were terrible I also give her credit for wanting to try to make things better How sad for her that she wasted her dancing wasted relationships with other dancing professionals her relationship with Barishnikov was almost irreparably damaged by her very foolish treatment of him and now has wasted a marriage she had written about as saving her So she ends up as she began lost and insecure My dance teacher told me about this book and mentioned Gelsey Kirkland s hellish descent into drug abuse eating disorders messed up relationships et al I kept reading and reading and the book was good but I was like okay so her relationships are totally messed up but where s the coke Well believe me it takes awhile but it sure does deliver the goods At one point she actually does a line of sweet and low I remember that was a oke in high school Anyway this was totally entertaining a well written trashy memoir The cover claims this starts as a fairy tale That is untrueNonetheless the first 56 of the book were fascinating for one entirely uninitiated to ballet Gelsey Kirkland s explorations uestions insistence on pursuing art for art s sake in the form of dramatic dance gave me I think previously unknown insight into the expressiveness and creativity of movementHer relationship with Mikhail Baryshnikov freuently made me want to scream His two dimensionality outside the ballet and her dependence on him were excruciating But he redeemed himself somewhat in his however misguided attempts at a kind of stand offish help and support during her battles with drug addiction Maybe in a limited way he loved herAfter 56 of the book it becomes nightmarish in a drug induced haze I suppose there isn t much else SHE CAN SAY FOR HERSELF IN can say for herself in early 80 s drugs prevent that kind of insight and analysis that had previously characterized her writing and she could only write that she socialized with those who supported her habit missed lots of appointments and gave performances not worthy of the skill that she had slaved to develop but which were often critically acclaimedFortunately she did ultimately work through her addiction by finding what appears to have been one of the first mutually supportive and creatively and spiritually matched relationships she had with a man in her life It sounds as though she is turned to learning up a storm of classical greats and beginning to share her knowledge. The shattering story of a dream which became a heartbreaking nightmare for one of America's most famous Dancing on My Grave