PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

It s hard not to love a book with a pseudo vagina on the Dump Truck Trouble/Lets Build a Doghouse! front it s even harder not to love that same bookor smashing all the preconceived ideas we have about Sometime After Midnight female and by comparison male sexuality Likeor example did you know th Books like this are why I LOVE non Stop Inflammation Now!: A Step-By-Step Plan to Prevent, Treat, and Reverse Inflammation--The Leading Cause of Heart Disease and Related Conditions fictionThis should be reuired reading onemale sexuality both Eyes Behind the Lines: L Company Rangers in Vietnam, 1969 for those with vaginas and those who are interested in or love someone with a vagina I mention the parts here because they ARE a big component of the book This is a guide to how everyone has the same parts rearranged differently and it s our perception of that and relationship with that mentality that changes oureelings perceptions and experiences of sex itself Nagoski writes in an empowering encouraging School Dazed fun and yes FUNNY manner I would hand this to every single woman I know For me the biggest take away the moment which took thisrom really good to outstanding was her discussion on body image on body weight and how it is our culture plus some that screws us up so bad In short it s the patriarchy that smashes emale desire love and interest in sex and in their own sexual beings and experiences We accept male as default orgetting that also means women lose out over and over and over again Buy this one Read it Then pass it along Seriously It s THAT good For some women I have no doubt this would be a life changing book I definitely learned some cool stuff things I am pissed that I did not know because patriarchy But I guess I m lucky enough that I don t really need the self help of this book to help with my sex life and this aspect is really the meat of the book Also Nagoski acknowledges that the book is Chinese Fairy Tales Fantasies: Folio Society Edition for and about cisgender women so that omission didn t bother me there isn t enough science about trans women or enby people but I did stilleel like it was suited Old Haunts for straight women in long term monogamous relationships which Nagoski doesn t give a disclaimeror like she does the ocus on cis women The examples of lesbians didn t really eel like they were specific to those experiences and bi women don t come up at all Single and poly women wouldn t get a lot out of this that would speak specifically to those experiences either I don t think Plus the metaphors used to explain absolutely everything got to me after a while Ok when I saw the tile of this book it thought probably what everyone else though about this book Ok the introduction and chapter 8 and appendix one might be but the rest is science over myth If it did not come so highly recommended Cooking for Company: All the Recipes You Need for Simple, Elegant Entertaining at Home from a respectedriend of mine rom uni I probably would not every given it the irst look Read is as some light reading doing her PhD in Psychology So of course she decided to experiment on her My Wifes Affair friend to get a male perspective on the book So let me get this out of the wayirst No This is not a collection of sex stories There are actual case studies They are not written to be provocative but to understand the Dîwana Jan feeling or the accelerators and the breaks Thought Emily does uote a number of scientific theories and is by her own admission a nerd no judgement I have been a proud geekor years you do not have to be to understand the book it is written in an easy to read way I ound there is a lot of truth to this book and even though it is written primarily or women in mind I think both me men and women can lean a lot rom it and will see traits of both in the case studiesI also think there are some very important messages in this book the main one being the irst like and echoed through out the book you are OK You are normal You are not broken Usually when ever we do not it the mold or something does not live up out our expectations one of those three thought does *Through Our Heads The Other Messages That * our heads the other messages that tries to show us are the messages we are bombarded with through out our lives the that is wrong you should look like this or that is not normal I uite like the idea of celebrating differences then persecuting people Naples! for themThis is a great book with a lot of insightful theories and science against myth and breaking down some pretty big wall theories of sex ans psychology have been linked since Sigmund Freud as some theories have moved on others we still have so much to learn about in others A great book that should be read by everyone and commented on what you agree with or disagree with Come As You Are is absolutely the best book I ve ever read not just on sex but on life and well being in general Why read another book on sex Because Emily describes how your brain and your life work together to create desire and how to experience pleasure joy and confidence with your relationships AND with sex But this isn t the usual sex book with lavish promises of ecstasy by learning detailed techniues of where to put this and how to put it there Emily gives you science thateels like a warm soothing hug The Curious Cases of Cyriack Skinner Grey for all of the insecurities you ve everelt about your body your sex and your relationships and then she describes how to apply science to your life so that you end up with the pleasure joy and confidence To be honest after Itsuka finishing a draft of this book Ielt peace and well being than I d elt in about ten years which is about when I started worrying about my body and sex And it s because Emily is describing how your brain interprets stress and how your body responds because of that how to actually manage stress without just trying to relax and how you can create a life that your body will respond all kinds of YES to Then add in science about how your brain works with goals and what kind of goal you have around your sex life and then you can appreciate how to work with the reality of your life and not just the antasy of what you want your love life to be I ve read Emily s blog or a couple years now but the way she puts #everything together and elaborates on all the science #together and elaborates on all the science everything click in a way that eels reassuring and ull of potential I m now reading parts of the draft again and understanding even better how all of the elements work together to build joy and confidence and pleasure It s truly beautifulCome As You Are is the most practical book I ve ever read about sex and with this book and Sheri Winston s Anatomy of Arousal I would never have needed any other book on sex And I bought hundreds I m also not the most sciencey person and luckily Emily explains really complicated concepts in an easy to apply way I really think this book could change our culture s whole idea of sexuality in a way that creates pleasure or everyone 2 stars Meh Just okI love the concept behind this book and it started off very interesting and introduced several Live Bait facts of which I was not previously aware Unfortunately it then became a long repetitive read with the bulk majority of the information being mostly common sense and started toeel like a self help book vs a nonfiction book on a No Strings Attached fascinating topic Iound myself doing a lot of skimming on the back half wondering if there would be anoth. An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works based on groundbreaking research and brain science that will radically transform your sex life into one Fancy Strut filled with confidence and joyResearchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill”or women to Northern California: A History and Guide - From Napa to Eureka function like Viagra doesor men So where is it Well Unbreathed Memories for reasons this book makes crystal clear that pill will never exist but as a result of the research that’s gone into it scientists in the lastew years have learned about how women’s sexuality works than we ev. ,


Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read

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Euences of any sexual activity whether medical social psychological or whateverConceptualising things in this way turns out to add uite a lot of nuance to how we think about arousal People with arousal problems differ undamentally in where the issue lies some have a low SES ie not many things actually turn them on in principle while others have a very rich SES but just a highly sensitive inhibition system which stops them reacting as ully as they otherwise might unless conditions are ideal Similarly sexual risk taking like unprotected sex cheating and so on is sometimes correlated with low SIS and sometimes with abnormally high SESNagoski very sensibly suggests that a prereuisite to overcoming arousal problems is understanding one s own SES and SIS getting amiliar with what exactly it is that turns you on and turns you off and creating contexts where the A Sally Lockhart Mystery 2 former are maximised and the latter minimised There are lots of interesting studies that bear on these ideas in various ways It wasound I Love My Dad for example that wearing socks made it easieror women to orgasm while masturbating in a brain imaging machine This is not because there are sock All about Us fetishists than previously appreciated but simply because it s distracting if you have coldeet and depending on your personal SIS little distractions of this kind can add up ast especially one presumes when trying to get off inside a brain imaging machineIt s clear that Nagoski wants to back up her ideas by using interviews with her clients to demonstrate how helpful these concepts can be And some interviews like this would indeed have been great books like Brett Kahr s Sex and the Psyche show how well clinical transcripts can work in books of this kind But pleading confidentiality issues Nagoski instead invents ictional couples who she says are composites of the many people she has treated in real life and the book is interspersed with transcripts of how these Noni Speaks Up fictional people wereictionally treated Reading these made up conversations with made up couples who nod and gasp appropriately at all her revelations is an exercise in pure Handbags and Gladrags frustrationThere were times when I wanted to throw this book across the room and it s only thanks to the goodortune that I was reading it on my iPad that I was An Egg-cellent Easter! (Barbie) forced to press on Nevertheless there are small parts of it that I d like to cut out and circulate to everyone I know so it is an odd mix Parts of the book I mean not my iPad Nagoski is after all basically comingrom the right place and talking about the right things and she s not afraid of making some big claims or her ield eitherDo I think that living with confidence and joy and respecting everyone s sexual autonomy could play a role in preventing cancer solving the climate crisis or building world peace Yes actuallyNo way I can one star a book saying something as close to my heart as that And I guess if what you want is something therapeutic rather than just informative then this will Wish Upon a Wedding fit the bill pretty well Still despite all the interesting material to be uncovered in here it is hard to shake off the vagueeeling that you re getting a lecture on sexual dysfunction rom a children s television presenterOct 2015 The information in this book is solid gold A copy should be put in the hands of every person ideally before they ve had sexual contact with another person But BUT The metaphors Dear Lord the metaphors We have sexuality as an accelerator and brakes sexuality as an overgrown garden sexuality as a hot water heater complex eelings as a sleeping hedgehog sexual interest as a customers seeking a diner sexual expectations as a touchy monitor tapping her Renovations: A Father and Son Rebuild a House and Rediscover Each Other fingernails our brains as alock of birds and SO MANY OTHERS I CAN T EVEN REMEMBER I understand and applaud what Nagoski is doing in terms of wanting to convey big complicated cognitive Richard Nixon: The Life functions in relatable prose But it touches a nerveor me when writers anthropomorphize I Am Cow, Hear Me Moo! female sexuality Iind it infantilizing I m a big girl just tell me what my brain is doing I can read about chemicals and neurons and whatnot I don t need to imagine my brain as a lion and my pelvis as a caveman or whatever other nonsense So 5 stars or the content 4 stars or the chatty conversational writing style which did not annoy me but will probably polarize some readers and 1 star Puppet Master for the overworked metaphors Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life is a nonfiction self help book written by sex educator researcher and author Emily Nagoski It educates about a variety of issues that impact women s sexuality and while some of it got uite repetitive in my opinion and I didn t uite take away as much new information as I expected to I m glad I read it Myavorite part discussed how the model of sexual response is based entirely on how men work and if women Swoon: The Heartthrob Activity Book for Good Color-Inners as Well as Beginners fail to be like men they are often not considered sexually normal Any woman can tell you this isn t breaking news but I thought having a whole section themed with you are normal it s the world around you that s broken was incredibly validating I willorever and a day support women who choose the science Janae (Blacktop, field and I have a high appreciationor Ms Nagoski s reasons *for writing this book in the irst place Check it out My avorite uote When people ask me * writing this book in the irst place Check it out My avorite uote When people ask me I normal They re asking Do I belong The answer is yes You belong in your body You belong in #I normal They re asking Do I belong The answer is yes You belong in your body You belong in world You ve belonged since the day you were born this is your home You don t have to earn it by conforming to some externally imposed sexual standard7616 I m actually super excited about this book No shame ladies learning is good Updating review I wrote this review almost ive years ago I m cringing at using lady parts I still stick to my ive star review it helped me open up a lot sexually I still recommend it to everyone whether you identify as man or woman Original reviewI picked up this book because I was interested in the science and emotion connecting woman s sexuality without sounding like a text book or a Cosmo article This book doesn t just talk about your lady parts it celebrates them a notion I m not amiliar with I Why Diets Make Us Fat feltor the Dont Hex with Texas (Enchanted, Inc., first time I got a glimpse of how I am as a woman and how my sexuality is connected to every part of life I think every woman should read this book if it will help aellow reader understand their body better it s worth reading Even if you don t have sex are a virgin hate sex or have an amazing sex life don t let the title throw you off It s a book to celebrate the emale body and the emotions and sexuality involved I ll admit I didn t even want to add this book to currently reading list on Goodreads because I was embarrassed There s nothing embarrassing about being a 30 something year old healthy woman who enjoys sex but I just thought talking about sex was something shameful If I had this book years ago I can t imagine the stress it would have saved me Regardless if the topic of sex makes you blush or not please read this boo. Rousal desire and orgasm Cutting edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important actor Everyday life in medieval times for women in creating and sustaining aulfilling sex life is not what you do in bed or how you do it but how you eel about it Which means that stress mood trust and body image are not peripheral actors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it Once you understand these actors and how to influence them you can create or yourself better sex and profound pleasure than you ever thought possibleAnd Emily Nagoski can prove it. Er interesting chapter coming up like the start of the book but the back 75% was rather dull Dead Giveaway for me Worth a read if youeel clueless in this area Favorite uote Women have cultural permission to criticize ourselves but we are punished if we praise ourselves if we dare to say that we like ourselves the way we areFirst Sentence To be a sex educator is to be asked uestions All right so this is not the book I thought it was when I got it and I apologise Andrew Lost In the Kitchen for a rating that would surely be higher if I were part of the target audience I was hoping it was a survey of the latest scientific research into arousal disorders and sexuality inact it s a very selective presentation of those pieces of research that are considered helpful in promoting women s sexual well being autonomy and pleasure Studies however revealing which do not promote such things are ignored In other words the book is primarily therapy not science Perhaps not surprising given that the author is a sex therapist but I hadn t realised that I thought she was a researcherI ve been very intentional about the empirical details I ve included or excluded I asked myself Does this Strange Son: Two Mothers, Two Sons, and the Quest to Unlock the Hidden World of Autism fact help women have better sex lives or is it just a totallyascinating and important empirical puzzle And I cut the puzzlesThis means that although there is some useful information here it is interspersed with a lot of rather irritating vaguely encouraging bullshit about living with confidence and joy inside your body reassurances that you are all normal all beautiful and exhortations to listen with your heart not with your Nope fear Naturally as a British passport holder I cannot read this stuff withouteeling my toes clench and my testicles retract into my body and the narrative tone doesn t help either Nagoski writes in the earnest chatty way of someone trying to write a book Rejected Rejected Rejected for people who don t read books with lots oforcedly collouial comments like Wait what and For realsie real OK Listening: The Last Poems of Margaret Avison fine I am clearly not the target audience I get that butor me it gets incredibly grating when every hint of scientific information is hedged around with encouragements and stupid metaphors and open condescension before a section on the hedonic centres of the mesolimbic cortex which Nagoski calls your emotional One Ring she warns It gets pretty nerdy here Ready Okay and afterwards pats us on the head by asking Did you make it Phew That was the hard part Nice job Gee thanks Dr NagoskiAristophanes in Plato s Symposium and Good Things Happen Slowly: A Life in and Out of Jazz for those of you who very understandably justell asleep replace that with the song The Origin of Love Buck: A Memoir from John Cameron Mitchell s Hedwig and the Angry Itch offers this parable about why humans love Really What Iound so infuriating about all this is the implied gendering of her tone it s somehow pitched at a certain idea of women as though they have no interest in hard science and need their research presented in the Oh, the Things They Invented!: All About Great Inventors form of a Cosmo uiz It s really outrageous I don t know if I should be taking it as some reflection on the state of US science education but the total horror of any scientific terminology combined with the girlfriends chatting over a Manhattan tone just left a really bad taste in the mouth Men come off no better Nagoski writes that she has to translate the science of women s sexual well being into Manly Fix It Dude Speak to talk to her clients partnersThe reason this is sorustrating is that the actual research presented is pretty important and in some cases not so well known The two presiding ideas in the book I think are the concept of responsive v spontaneous desire and the dual control model of sexual arousal The terms responsive desire and spontaneous desire have been Yikes, Vikings! (Canadian Flyer Adventures Series floating aroundor over a decade now I think the key paper was Basson al 2003 although Nagoski they were coined by Ellen Laan and Stephanie Both which may be true Laan is one of the authors of that paper The basic idea is that while some people can get turned on while walking down the street or doing the dishes Five Days Left for others it s something that only happens in response to situations that have already been made explicitly erotic Arousalirst #desire secondThe disparity between these different kinds of desire is of course #secondThe disparity between these different kinds of desire is of course a lot of relationship stresses whence Nagoski s clinical interest For her what s important here is Nagoski s clinical interest For her what s important here is point out that responsive desire is perfectly OK and is not the same as low desire A woman can be perfectly normal and healthy and never experience spontaneous sexual desire Instead she may experience responsive desire in which her desire emerges only in a highly erotic contextShe writes a woman and there may well be a sex divide Nagoski estimates on somewhat shaky data because research into this is limited that Searching for Robert Johnson five percent of men and thirty percent of women have responsive desire compared with seventyive percent of men and Blood on Silk five percent of women whose desire is spontaneous This leaves most women and twenty percent of men whose desire style changes based on the context a rather large amount which does slightly throw the whole model into uestion Asexuality is not addressed Nagoski is understandably worried about the idea that sexual desire which differsrom the male norm is pathologised as broken or defective in some way something to be Buzz: A Graphic Reality Check for Teens Dealing With Drugs and Alcohol fixed by taking a soar mythical pill she wrote an op ed piece Honoring the Medicine: The Essential Guide to Native American Healing for the New York Times back in February on this subjectIt s all good stuff and it s certainly a vocabulary that people should have at their disposal However it should be noted that other models of sexual desire are available It s also worth saying that all we are really doing here is playing semantics Thinking about responsive desire as a thing might help people toeel better about themselves and not to By the Lake of Sleeping Children feel broken which is good and they re not but it doesn t really say anything about what s actually going on What affects whether desire is spontaneous or responsive Hormones Neurology Upbringing CultureThis semantics issue is something the whole book suffersrom same goes Bill Carey Rides West/The Town No Guns Could Tame/Bowdrie Rides a Coyote Trail for her long and heartfelt rant about why we do not have a sex drive but rather an incentive motivation system For the life of me after reading that section several times I couldn t work out what the difference was supposed to be Even than responsive desire Nagoski is excited about something called the Dual Control Model of Arousal This is the idea developed by two researchers at the Kinsey Institute in 2006 the paper s here and essentially what it does is to consider libido in terms of those psychosomatic processes that promote sexual arousal and in terms of those that restrain it The paper posits a Sexual Excitation System SES on the one hand and a Sexual Inhibition System SIS on the other Nagoski calls them the accelerators and the brakes The SES is that part of you that constantly scans your thoughts and the world around youor sexually relevant data the SIS is not inhibitions in the layman s sense but a necessary consideration of negative cons. Er thought possible and Come as You Are explains it allThe Erano guerrieri first lesson in this essential transformative book by Dr Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own uniue sexuality like aingerprint and that women vary than men in our anatomy our sexual response mechanisms and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences Because women vary and that’s normalSecond lesson sex happens in a context And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life


10 thoughts on “PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

  1. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski

    PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski All right so this is not the book I thought it was when I got it and I apologise for a rating that would surely be higher if I were part of the target audience I was hoping it was a survey of the latest scientific research into arousal disorders and sexuality; in fact it's a very selective presentation of those pieces of research that are considered helpful in ‘promoting women's sexual well being autonomy and pleasure’ Studies

  2. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

    PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Ok when I saw the tile of this book it thought probably what everyone else though about this book Ok the introduction and chapter 8 and appendix one might be but the rest is science over myth If it did not come so highly recommended from a r

  3. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

    PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life It’s hard not to love a book with a pseudo vagina on the front; it’s even harder not to love that same book for smashing all the preconceived ideas we have about female and by comparison male sexuality Like for example did you know that the hymen as an indication of virginity is entirely a social construction and there is no

  4. says: Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read

    PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski The information in this book is solid gold A copy should be put in the hands of every person ideally before they've had sexual contact with another person But BUT The metaphors Dear Lord the metaphors We have se

  5. says: Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read

    PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Come As You Are is absolutely the best book I've ever read not just on sex but on life and well being in general Why read another book on sex? Because Emily describes how your brain and your life work together to create desire and ho

  6. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read

    Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Books like this are why I LOVE non fictionThis should be reuired reading on female sexuality both for those with vaginas and those who are interested in or love someone with a vagina I mention the parts here because they ARE a big component of the book This is a guide to how everyone has the same parts rearrange

  7. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

    Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life is a nonfiction self help book written by sex educator researcher and author Emily Nagoski It educates about a variety of issues that impact women's sexuali

  8. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski

    Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read 2 stars Meh Just okI love the concept behind this book and it started off very interesting and introduced several facts of which I was not previously aware Unfortunately it then became a long repetitive read with the bulk majority of the information being mostly common sense and started to feel like a self help book vs a nonficti

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    Emily Nagoski ↠ 2 Free read Free download Þ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Emily Nagoski PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski For some women I have no doubt this would be a life changing book I definitely learned some cool stuff things I am pissed that I did not know because patriarchy But I guess I'm lucky enough that I don't really need the 'self help' of this book to help with my sex life and this aspect is really the meat of the book Also Nagoski ackno

  10. says: PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

    Read & download Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life PDF or EPUB Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Ì Emily Nagoski Updating review I wrote this review almost five years ago I'm cringing at using lady parts I still stick to my five star review it helped me open up a lot sexually I still recommend it to everyone whether you identify as man or woman Original reviewI picked up this book because I was interested in the science and emotion c

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